98. unborn children

.

yesterday watching ducks placid

on the pond i thought

of my unborn children,

.

the odd tilt poised

for a smile in one boy’s green eye,

.

the blowsy woman in the port 

terminal whom I 

gave my little girl to,

.

all well pleased though I 

did wonder: quite a different

landscape than my casual

.

broken fingernails

and work boots, D’s carelessly

owned competence. 

.

i thought about the way

the second boy and i spoke

without speaking.

.

how I miss him. 

.

I often sit alone now

near water, feeding 

the placid ducks

crumbs.

33. Fifty, for D

A herd of dust motes

is squeaking in sunlight

bars thrown across the room,

awakening all the sharp edges

of hard winter sun.

My bowels are weeping for you

for your hopeless hands 

married to your child

with webs of flesh.

He is not yours to keep.

Sunlight groans

across our days then

is gone,

each dust mote dancing

an individual samba.