109. Fieldwork

 

Walking across Wyoming

I fell for you, your curls

sweat plastered, your eyes

changing blue to green, your

flirting with waitresses while

I watched laughing for your shy

young hands hiding. I fell

longing for the touch 

of your brown hand brushing

my brown hand, my bleached

hair tangled in your mistaken 

fingers, exchanging Farka Toure

for Fugazi, breaking

my eardrums, my patience,

my grown wild heart.

 

Days are shrinking now, hit hard

by winds that parch, skinning

sun raw by desert sand

carried. At night I hear radio 

voices clattering between our tents,

restless and urgent. Walking, I see 

fire-cracked rock buried 

beneath sand, the way

our eyes plant explosives through

the unnamed senses. At night

you visit philosophy, torturing

breakfast and still …

 

Spain is one half-assed plan 

to work through winter, one

idea cooked up on a stormy day

of crackling lightning and a missed

tornado. Next, Cuba, but no one liked 

that, not even you knowing

about the whores and cuba libres

and hot sun, hot salt on skin.

Or Argentina has friends waiting,

long digs and pampas like home,

all in Spanish. If we both

rode an airplane to Patagonia

would you even hold my hand

shoo the Latinos from their lust?

Or would you indulge your own for me,

turned south and wild with hunger?

I fell for you like that hail

fell hard to earth last week.

Hug me, miss me.

69. Stars

Stars skip out over the black branches

of screwbean mesquite, catalyzing

coyotes hungry for a breeze,

a rabbit, each other.

.

I would guide your hand across my body

star to star and between each

we would be one in one space.

If you were here I would,

to hear your breath catch

to taste the desert dust

crushed creosote and wolfberries

and the sweat-salt of hunger

hot on our cracked lips.

I would tenderly swing my body

in an arc as wide as Sonoran horizons

to include all of you in my passion,

quiet as midday, bold as midnight

and strong as both

in joined silence.

.

Creosote blooms leak notes the desert air

hangs all the other notes from 

to weld a symphony.

.

35. fast cloud

you passed by the willows

where they bend brushing water.

that is where i remember you,

your brown shoulders moving

smoothly as deer dipping 

under young branches to meet me.

when you rode at dawn did you see me 

in the willow shadows watching your body

become the galloping horse’s body

moving across grass like a fast cloud?

now when wind shifts against hissing grasses

i hear your flute song calling down dusk,

healing my slashed arms still wanting to bleed

this life back into earth to follow you

on a trail to the stars.

do you ever pause to watch a fast cloud

chase the herd you left below?

do you see a woman standing still by the willows

watching spaces between branches,

waiting for you?

18. i remember

remember the

feel of grass blown against lean

thighs, hot scent of dirt.

i remember each

breath we breathed of each other’s

under the blanket.

i remember you

and wonder who am I, who

am I now: pale, lost.

i remember language

of seasons, timber cracking

of cold, rivers sighing.

now I have nothing.

no one now knows the thread counts

woven together, 

breath of one wind, our

beat of one old earth heart, one

longing cloud’s soft moan … 

i remember when

i belonged against the earth, 

brown and dusty.